The Wind, It Blows

burningmattress

The suspense thickens. For Andy’s interview I mean, which I conducted three months ago and is on my other computer. What is Eco-topia? Why does Andy sometimes drive around without clothes on?  Has he ever won a regional Emmy for best original composition? Does he like the smell of rain? Some of these questions will be answered…some will not.

Today I’m going to write about being cold. Because when you’re cold you can think of little else. You would do just about anything to get warm. You might move into your bathroom, the smallest room in the house and get it nice and toasty hot until you’re roasting in your winter coat. You might set up shop there with your laptop and your hot chocolate in your winter coat somewhere near the base of your toilet. You may conduct all personal correspondence and business from there.  If you’re outside, you might burrow into a little tunnel in the snow and huddle together with other pioneers. You might slaughter your horses and eat them. You might eat other things that you never thought you would eat, taboo things that I can’t even name here, but that rhyme with meepol. That’s not so much if you’re cold as if you’re starving. Being cold reminded me of being hungry. Because I just watched a documentary on the Donner Party–all of whom were both very cold and very hungry.

The Donner Party, in case you forget, was a band of 80-some lusty pioneers trying to make it to the golden shores of California in 1846. Blunders and misfortune ensued. One of the blunders is they tried to take a shortcut across the Great Salt Lake Desert. Another blunder is that they took a little rest stop on the eastern side of the Sierra Nevadas for five days when they were way behind schedule. On the sixth day the first blizzard of the year hit the Sierra Nevadas. Help was not forthcoming for the trapped Donner Party because all of the able-bodied men were off fighting the Mexicans in the Mexican-American War. So the pioneers got cold, and the pioneers got hungry, and the pioneers sort of, kind of, ate each other.

donners2

But back to how cold it is in my apartment. One of the main reasons it is so cold is that I cannot turn the baseboard heater on in my “bedroom” (which is essentially the same room as my kitchen) because my mattress might catch fire. All of the other heaters in the house are free and clear and I can warm those rooms, but my bedroom is an icebox. Just one of the endearing eccentricities of my 1913 era faux-adobe house which caught on fire a few years ago and was since re-wired and re-outfitted in some pretty unorthodox ways.

So I’m thinking of starting another blog, since I only sometimes get around to talking about history or culture in this one. My new blog would just keep record of my seasonal discomfort with the weather. Stuff like: March 5: Look what the wind did to me today. (then I would insert picture of me looking really disheveled). June 15: Today I’m feeling sweaty. August 29: It’s monsoon season. I bet some people are getting soaked.  Sept 14: Today I’m neither hot nor cold. But if I turn my head just so, the sun gets in my eyes in a very annoying way.  Dec 9: Freezing my ass off again.

The thing that would make it a great blog is that weather is so universal; it impacts us all. I think we all agree that bad weather is a nuisance. Despite the best efforts of meteorologists, weather is unpredictable, which makes for a good blog. Plus it might be interesting for some of you who are sitting all toasty warm in your well-heated homes to know that at that very moment someone else is freezing their ass off. Or if you’ve just been frightened by a clap of thunder, and wonder if any of your friends were also frightened, you can come check the blog!

So that is my idea. But it may only seem like a good idea now because I am in the latter stages of hypothermia.

In closing, here is a picture of the tropics.

beach palm trees (3)

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