There comes a time in many a person’s life when they decide it’s time to light out for new territories. Somewhere they can have a chicken coop in the backyard, and a stiff drink on the front porch, and a stacking washer/dryer in the bathroom, and glass windows and a pedestal for their monkey lamp, and a donut vendor half a block away, and whimsical plumbing, and an actual bedroom for their 3-year-old daughter.
For me that time was now.
And that place is Anderson Avenue!
Stop on by. It looks like this:
If you need more specific landmarks, there are some dog–llama-merman thingies on the gate.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, look for these horse heads on the fence posts:
Where was I? Oh yeah, we were ready to move in, but we couldn’t help noticing the walls were brown. So my idea was to paint them. After conferring with others and doing extensive internet research, this seemed to be the popular choice when faced with wall colors you don’t like.
Little did I know that once you start painting, you can hardly stop!!!
But I’ve stopped now. After eight coats. Mostly because I ran out of paint and also because after eight coats it finally looked right. It finally looked the color of magnolia blossoms for which it was named (portrayed here in bottom left corner).
Do I recommend eight coats of paint in all situations?
Let me break it down for you:
Primer 1: To cover up existing paint
Primer 2: To seal in primer
Paint 1: To color over primer
Paint 2: To doubly color over primer
Paint 3: For nice, thick texture
Paint 4: To paint over all the painting you’ve already done
Paint 5: To paint over the paint that was covering all the other paint
Paint 6: To definitively seal in all that paint with more paint
Did my partner in prime (that’s a joke referencing primer, then prime, then crime) find marathon painting as joyfully addictive as I did? Let’s chat with him and see:
me: Dave, remember when we painted the house for an entire week?
Dave: nope…when was that?me: nonstop day and night with all of our free time?Dave: hmmm….not ringing any bells…me: I’m pretty sure you were there.Dave: was I? okay…let’s assume I was…what’s your question?
me: If you could do it all over again would you? And what would you do differently?Dave: I would buy my own f&*ing paint. Any other questions?me: Oh. But in retrospect it was kind of fun, right?
Dave: What? Are you f&*ing kidding me?