Come to the Carpet

Wanna hear the lyrics to the song my daughter’s first grade class sings whenever it’s time to gather as an orderly assemblage on the rug?

I found her singing this last night:

Come to the carpet

And use your walking feet

Come to the carpet

Moving to the beat

Come to the carpet

Remember not to shout

Come to the carpet

And use your quiet mouth

As you can see, the great socialization/domestication program of our children has begun. I think we all know that the “carpet” is corporate, capitalist, middle-class America. “Shut your traps, kids. Fall into lockstep. Dial it down. It’s better…over here…on the carpet.”

But Lali told me that while the rest of the class is singing “Come to the Carpet,” she and her friend Evie are singing:

Bum boobee barpet

Booboo boppin’ beep

Bum boobee barpet

Boobin to the beat

Bum boobee barpet

Bebember bopoo bout

Bum boobee barpet

Byboo bybit bouth

She says her teacher doesn’t notice that she’s altered the words.

It’s subversive.

So eff you, Corporate America.

And now in the days of Standing Rock and downward political spirals, let our voices all together ring out, over pitched roofs and flat roofs, over telephone wires and cell towers, over railyards and air strips, in this refrain:

Bum Boobee Barpet!

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And thank you, Lali, for inspiring adults everywhere in their freedom fight against their own childhood grooming.

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Stand strong, friends.

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